My recent claim to the title of Floyd’s “Village Idiot” apparently had more impact on our community than anticipated. It appears that it has opened the floodgates of conflicting claims for valuable nomenclature & the honors attached thereto. Some even imply royalty or divine right! I recently received an email from a local coffee shop owner and noticed that it was signed “The Countess of Coffee”. I won’t reveal who she is as it would really embarrass her husband Frank, but it’s indicative of the mad dash for power & notoriety in our small community. It is rumored that there has been vicious infighting amongst local politicos for the title “Duke of Dumb”……….. Chris & Abe are said to be battling it out for the “Monarch of Music” & most interestingly…… a full contact mud wrestling poetry slam has been scheduled for the title “High Priestess of Poetry”. The crowd favorite seems to be Mara “Drama-O-Rama” Robbins but the smart money is split between Colleen “Soul Crusher” Redman & Katherine “TeaTime” Chantal. Look for updates in future issues.